Tag Archives: Stress

Coping with Distress

Today has already been what some might call distressing.

I spent my morning in the ER. Again. I thought, perhaps, it was a continuation of one of the two problems I’ve had within the past two weeks: either another kidney stone or another small-bowel obstruction. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how one looks at it) it was neither of those things. Instead, it was a condition called inflammatory colitis – in other words, an infection inside or outside the small bowel causing inflammation, pain, nausea, etc. To me, the symptoms were very difficult to distinguish from the feel  caused by a kidney stone or a bowel obstruction. There was a slight variance in severity and location of the pain, and the level of physiological distress (I separate this from pain because for me, it is a separate issue) which is a term I have invented for that feeling of intense frustration and anxiety that occurs when one has a medical condition or illness (or even a psychiatric or psychosocial issue) that is continuing to reoccur or worsen despite your best efforts. It is that feeling inside your head that makes you crazy: you start to wonder if perhaps there is no cure, no treatment, no solution that will be effective for you. It starts to seem like no matter what you do, you will always have pain, always be depressed, always have difficulty meeting people or with the opposite sex, or perhaps that you will always be estranged from a friend or family member whom you love.

I may have invented the term “physiological distress”, but I’m betting I’m not the only one to have experienced it. Like pain, or anxiety, this type of distress defies external measurement. It is subjective. In fact, in my experience, it is so subjective as to be unpredictable even to one who has experienced it multiple times in multiple situations. For example, I have had abdominal pain and nausea more times than I can count in my short life. And yet, there is no predictability in the way each iteration of these symptoms will cause physiological distress. Last Thursday I was feeling possibly the worst pain and worst nausea out of the last two weeks. Yet I proceeded to drive myself to the hospital and wait in the ER and explain everything to the nurse who commented: “you seem incredibly calm for someone experiencing the symptoms you are experiencing”. And yet, when went to the ER this morning, I was so anxious and upset that I took the wrong freeway exit, then misspelled my name, then nearly missed the gurney as I tried to sit down. I could barely get the gown on, and for those who have ever put one of them on, they are about the simplest garment one could imagine: there are two holes for your arms in the upper portion of the gown. That is it. Sure, it has a place to tie in the back, but no one expects you to tie it yourself.

I guess this post is really about this idea that the frustration in dealing with chronic or reoccurring problems in my life can actually become a significant, separate issue that may not really coincide with the severity of the inciting incident.

That is really easy to demonstrate, given that today, I was not actively passing a kidney stone, nor had I passed one (at least to my knowledge) in the past several days. A kidney stone SHOULD produce a significantly higher level of distress than a simple inflammation of the intestinal tract. And yet, possibly because it seemed to be a reoccurrence of an incurable and unpredictable problem, today’s pain and nausea (most likely lower in severity than that of a few days ago) produced a much higher distress level.

I honestly don’t know what the application would be. Perhaps all of this just means I need some more psychiatric and psychological help. (that is probably a fact rather than a supposition, whether for this type of distress or for one of the other myriad of mental absurdities my brain and body put me through on a daily basis) Perhaps it just means I am spending more time than I should using my brain to watch my body and using my brain to watch itself – we typically call this “introspection” or something like that, but I find that term to be rather one dimensional as it primarily refers to using one’s brain to ruminate on past actions, behavior, thoughts, and responses rather than focusing one’s attention on what one is thinking NOW, or a combination of those things, or even what one is feeling emotionally and physically combined with what one is thinking at any given point in time.

Enough with the terminology.

My question to myself and to all of you, in light of the distress I was feeling this morning, is this: if and when you are feeling physiological distress, what methods are available to deal with it, and which ones are the most effective? Which ones are healthiest? Which ones support your personal wellness and lifestyle goals?

For example, one way many of use deal with our distress is to eat. Yet for many, that is a destructive way of dealing with distress, and might even wind up causing distress in the future. Another method for dealing with distress is recreational drug use. But if you don’t know from personal experience, then take a leaf out of my book: this is NOT the way to deal with your distress. It ultimately causes a significantly higher level of distress in all areas of life, rather than a single source of distress that may have triggered the drug use originally.

But there are healthy ways to deal with what distresses you. One thing I can almost always count on to alleviate my distress is to act. To DO something that addresses whatever is causing me to feel the way I do. So today, that action was to go to the hospital. Something that, even as frustrating and anxiety producing as it was, was actually less frustrating than sitting at home hurting and anxious.

I wish I could tell you that because I am aware of this dynamic in my life I always choose the healthy ways to combat my distress. In fact, it is probably the opposite: even though I am aware of this dynamic, I still often choose unhealthy coping methods.

I’d love to hear from you about your experiences. Have you felt “physiological distress”? If so, what does it feel like to you, personally? What methods, healthy or not, have you employed to cope? What works best, and what just doesn’t work at all?

Thank you for reading. I wish you a distress-free Sunday!

Peace to you,



Dealing with the Unexpected

Sometimes things don’t go the way we expect them to go. This morning I woke up believing that the weekend gig that I had landed helping demo food products at the Japan festival at Uwajimaya had fallen through.

I went to Tai Chi from 9-10am and got home and finished editing my next piece for FeelGoodNow. I was literally in the middle of getting ready to take a nap when my friend (who had helped set me up with this job) called me and said, hey, how come you aren’t there?

It was just a misunderstanding, but I thought he had told me that someone would call me if they needed me, when in fact he told me that I should just show up unless someone called and told me not to.

I told my friend I probably wouldn’t make it today and he said not to worry, just show up tomorrow.

My dad and mom were downtown at a giant event that the mission hosts every year called Operation Overcoat where they distribute thousands of warm jackets and other winter clothing to those in need and also serve them a big meal. I was planning to go down and help but then Sheena, the supervisor for the company whose products I was supposed to be demo-ing called me and told me she didn’t care if I showed up late but that they really needed me. So I swiftly got dressed, and literally ran out the door and rode my scooter to Beaverton.

I spent from about 11:45am to 6pm serving Teriyaki flavored Nori (which is dried seaweed, for the uninitiated) and talking with customers. I got a half-hour break for lunch, and that was really all I needed. But with the enormous festival going on, there were hundreds of people there, live music, tons of booths selling all manner of Japanese food, drink and merchandise… it was a big party. I actually enjoyed myself for the most part, although I’m going to wear more comfortable, less dressy clothes tomorrow since I felt overdressed and my feet hurt from my shoes.

Anyway, the point of this entry is that sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect. And I am learning to roll with that, despite when it is hard, and especially when it goes against my normal inclination I’ve had for the past five years.

I want to find some more meaningful work that truly helps others, sure. But I have a bit of that with my writing job at FeelGoodNow and with this blog.

So for now, getting a “day job”, even if it is just at a grocery store, is fine with me.

I’ll do what it takes to be well, and part of my wellness means a certain level of financial stability and independence – something I really haven’t had for years.

I look forward to working tomorrow, and perhaps to developing an ongoing relationship with this store and this company that might turn into something bigger. The reality is that you never know what next, and the only way to find out is to just move on.

Peace to you this night,