I was home, now back in the hospital and have been more out of it than you could believe But I got some inspiration from my Dad and a Doctor here at Providence decided to shake off the fumes of the last couple months, regroup, and go at again.
I don’t know where that will leave me tomorrow, but I was sure how it would leave me yesterday – still in that cycle of broken dreams and empty rooms where I’ve lived the last sad years.
So now, Begin Wellness Quest 2.0. Not much will be changing except that my posts may feel like the recycle a bit as I slowly find my feet again.
Thank you so much for all the continued support of my family and friends – Even when I couldn’t be there for you, you were there for me, with the grace I aim to return the favor.
So I wanted this post to be a description of who I want to be. I’m going to look past all the obstacles, and focus on the goal, as were – the solution rather than the problem.
First, logistically (because I can see that all else disappears when I take opiate drugs, even if it is supervised in the hospital). This will have to be unwavering, through pain and struggle and, and I must be, overall, doubtless in my certainty.
Second – Also a foundation piece: I want to be honest in every single word that passes my lips, no matter the point, no matter the ears of the recipient, not harsh, undiluted, I’m gonna be brash and in your face. Because I believe each person’s walk on this earth is different, and that we each walk and make our own truth as we live it. But despite that. Blatant falsehood is wrong. No matter the reason, it has returned to me over and over again in the past few months that when I lie in order to put off the consequences of my actions, the just keep adding up till I have to serve the time anyway. What good reason is there to lie when the people I love don’t lie to me?
Third – The overcoming of obstacles. I feel best when I am put in a situation that I am told I cannot overcome and yet I succeed. Whether the challenge is physical, mental, emotional or spiritual – I will be looking for ways to create and overcome new obstacles and bolster my foundation in other places.
Fourth – I will stop placing artificial obsticles in the way of meaninful employment, and. most importantly, stop putting limitations on my career as a writer. I realize when people ask me now about what I’m working on they get a cross between a volunteer and that’ maybe nice but well, he’s not going anywhere with his life, or even worse just a guy who’s too old to be living with his parents and freeloading. I want to effectively be doing the things that i need to do to be healthy while still being social and finding meaningful employment.
There will be more additions to this and to the other pages soon, I promise. I’m back to the post-a-day schedule.
Thanks again to all my readers who have continued to support me despite my absence the last few months!
Peace to you,