Big Steps and a Dose of Gratitude

I had a pretty full day today. To that end, tonight’s post will be on the shorter side. It’s only nine o’clock and I’m ready to get into bed, turn on some quiet music, and possibly read, but I may not even have the energy for that! Imagine, me, not having the energy to read… To those of you who know me, that may seem rather surprising.

But I woke this morning at six am, got up, did my meds, worked out briefly, ate a protein bar and had a rare cup of coffee. Then I showered, got ready, and went downtown for a meeting at 10am. Immediately after that my mom met me at Laughing Planet Café in the Ecotrust building where she had to take an 11am phone meeting. I had lunch –as in I quickly scarfed down my usual “Che Guevara Bowl” – then wrote up my notes from my meeting and spent the next hour working on my next piece for FeelGoodNow. I called my editor to quickly let her know how the meeting went, and then when my mom was off her call, it was off to Umpqua Bank where it was time for me to open my first bank account since 2009.

I closed my account with Wells Fargo bank while in poor standing with the help of my parents because I had spent all my money on drugs. Not to mention a lot of their money. In short, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Since then, I have lived on handouts from relatives, food stamps, gift cards, and the odd twenty dollars given to me by any one of my relatives nice enough to allow me to have a bit of discretionary spending money. The problem is that up until now, I really couldn’t be trusted to have my own account or, really, have my own money under my control.

So it was a pretty big step for me to sit in a bank, sign the forms, and walk away with an account in my name that actually has a little money in it. Plus, my mother generously paid for the cashier’s check which will pay my first month’s pro-rated rent, the last month’s rent, and the security deposit for my new place.

So I walked away with a lot of reassurance that my family are standing behind me as I go through this process. Despite that this is a lot of change in a short period of time, I have confidence in myself. I truly am a different person than I was a year, hell, even six months ago. My priorities in life are different. My habits are different. My lifestyle is radically different.

And I am healthy. Healthier than I have been in over a decade. I think that speaks for itself.

And I am going into this new living situation, new working situation, new life situation without undue expectations. There are no “magic bullets” in life. You have to work for things. However, when I don’t fight against the universe but I work with it, I find my results to be a lot more satisfactory.

The last thing I want to say tonight is something I haven’t said before that I probably should have.

I want to acknowledge all of you. Every single one of you who has read my blog as I have been walking this path toward wellness has at times picked me up and carried me. Those who haven’t actually physically been present in my life have been supporting my path through their prayers, positive energy, and shared belief in me that I can do this. So thank you all. You have been my strength sometimes when I couldn’t find it within myself. You have been the handhold I have needed to boost myself to the next level. Whether it was a hug you gave me, or a kind word left in the comment section, or a “like” on my blog or on my Facebook page or a mention on Twitter…no matter what it was, I want you all to know I have noticed and that I know I could not have gotten here without this blog, and without all of you.

I extend my sincere thanks, and send my positive energy your way, sending peace to you and yours,



2 responses to “Big Steps and a Dose of Gratitude

  1. Hi Nathan,

    Love reading your words of gratitude! Your adventure continues. You been in training for such a time as this. Go forth. You are ready!

    Aunt Laura

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s