The Bits and Pieces

I didn’t write last night because (no lies here) I just didn’t feel up to it. Yesterday was actually wonderful. I connected with an old friend who is on his own wellness journey. I met with a potential renter who is subletting a portion of her home and felt a strong sense that perhaps that is where I am supposed to live. I had a good talk with my mom, and was up late on the phone.

All in all, it was a really fruitful day.

But I just didn’t feel up to writing.

Today, however, I just don’t have time!

Today is the first day in a while where I have literally felt like I need to use every second of my day or else I will forget something, or my brain will completely melt down.

But my commitments look like child’s play in comparison with both my parent’s schedule. It is amazing to me that they continue to function on low levels of sleep, an erratic (if improving) diet, and, in general, not taking a moment to relax because they can’t, or they feel like their worlds would fall apart.

I don’t often sympathize with that. I usually have been someone who tends to commit less, leaving a lot of extra time to fill.

But today, I can see it. I feel frazzled and it’s only 10:30am. When I break it down, I know I have plenty of time to get everything done, but the problem is I seem to need small breaks between activities (at least many of them) or else I can’t focus. When I have to constantly switch from one task to the next, I feel like part of my brain gets left behind each time and by the end of the day I’m running on 10% of a brain because pieces of it are still back dealing with activities I finished hours before.

That’s one of the positive things about blogging.

It allows me to decompress at the end (or beginning) of my day and helps me re-integrate all those individual portions of my fractured mind back into a coherent whole.

But I also know that NOTHING is a substitute for healthy choices. And when it comes time for me to choose between sleep that I know I truly need, between food that I want versus food my needs to run, between exercise for the sake of my body image and exercise for the sake of my health, between an easy and convenient lie and a difficult truth… Well, I want to be consistently choosing the right thing.

And the “right thing” for me is probably vastly different than the “right thing” for you. I do believe there are some universal truths. But very few. For the most part I believe in a relative universe where everything depends on perspective and interpretation.

In speaking with my potential landlord last night, I believe what I said was that I believe that when I make the conscious choice to be whole and healthy, the universe aligns with my intention.

My own reality depends on both what I choose to do, and how I choose to perceive the things that happen.

That’s all for today since I’m working on another deadline, have 3 social commitments, my wellness activities, and my martial arts class all in the next 10 hours. That might sound like a piece of cake to you, but to me, that is a lot.

I also have to find time to cook myself something healthy in there somewhere! Whew.

But I hold the intention that my day will be successful, and I will deliberately choose to place those much needed breaks between activities in order to allow my brain to catch up whenever possible.

That’s what I’m choosing today. What reality are you choosing?

Peace to you and yours,

-Nathan

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One response to “The Bits and Pieces

  1. I am spurred on by your self awareness and openness. I think “decompression breaks” are such a good idea – I am going to work on that starting tomorrow. Thanks for sharing your journey – it’s really valuable.

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