Today was officially my last day of subutex. And parts of today were tough. I’ve finally started to feel some of the physical discomfort that often comes from the detox process. My muscles have been tight, I have felt fatigued, and my joints have been sore.
Yet despite that, I got up and after doing my nebulizer treatments and eating breakfast, I walked the nine tenths of a mile up a nice steep hill to Lakeridge High School where I ran 1.2 miles on the track (with a few breaks to catch my breath) and then walked back home. So all in all, I walked and ran a total of 3 miles today. Then I came home and did my Tai Chi, and then I had to rest. I really had to focus on keeping my mind occupied so that it didn’t focus on my physical discomfort.
I know from long experience that what I focus on expands. So if I sit and focus on how awful I feel, it will get worse and worse until I actually convince myself that I am having a serious crisis. But I have found that if I catch myself, and just focus my attention outside of my body or meditate or sometimes just watch some TV, I will quickly forget about pain or fatigue and I will often feel much better.
The problem is keeping my mind occupied so that it doesn’t just get stuck on how I feel physically. I am blessed at this time to not really feel that bad. All things considered, I feel one-hundred times better than I ever have during the detox process. The fact that I not only exercised this morning but that I went to my martial arts class this evening really says a lot to me. I am determined to keep myself focused on my wellness, and for me, right now, that means emphasizing my mental focus over any physical discomfort.
Yes, when my body needs to rest, it needs to rest, and I will make sure to listen and respond appropriately when necessary. But I will continue to work toward my goals for my physical fitness, and I will push myself as much as possible despite the discomfort this detox process may cause. Most of all, I will have to keep my mind occupied so that I minimize the anxiety that can come from focusing on the discomfort that sometimes occurs.
Obviously this is easier said than done. But I am proud of how I have done so far. But really the next few days are the big test. Thus far I have always had it in my mind that I will still have another dose or two of the subutex to prop me up. Now that is over and done, and I have to allow my body and my mind to re-calibrate to life without that substance in my body artificially changing how I feel.
I am still choosing to believe that if I keep my energy in a good place, I will continue to be able to work through any discomfort I have and still be able to pursue my goals for optimal wellness.
Thanks for reading, and peace to you,