I’ve had a rather busy day today. At least, busy for me, and busy for a Saturday.
I woke up at 3:30am this morning from a strange dream. More about that later.
I had to read to get my mind off the dream and to get myself back to sleep, which happened around 4:45am. I woke again at 6 when my alarm went off but I fell back to sleep until almost 8am when my uncle woke me! Fortunately he did, because I had to be at my Tai Chi course at 9am. After Tai Chi, I came home and ate breakfast. I did a couple things around the house, and then I did my afternoon exercise routine early. Noon came and I had my fruit & veggie protein shake and got ready.
My friend Noah picked me up a little after 1pm and we went and hung out at his new house for a bit. Our friend Cheyne met us and we did a little shopping at Goodwill to get some things for their new place. We ate at Laughing Planet Cafe and hung out a little longer before they dropped me off back home.
Now I’m sitting watching the US Open with my uncle and marveling at the skill of the 17yr old Beau Hossler who is sitting just a few strokes back from the leaders. And of course writing this post.
After all that, it is hard to know what to focus on. Nothing was particularly difficult or stressful today. In fact, I have enjoyed practically every moment of it. I had a lot of fun with my friends, and since I hadn’t seen them since I was in the hospital, I was eager to spend time with them and am looking forward to hanging out with them again soon.
I exercised strenuously today, but I don’t feel overly tired or sore. In fact, because I’m exercising every day, I hardly ever get sore these days.
The weather was lovely today, and I had a great dinner at a great restaurant (check out Laughing Planet Cafe – they serve lots of healthy food and have many vegan/gluten free options).
In short, I have zero complaints today.
I guess the most interesting thing about today was that dream that woke me up at 3am. If I could categorize the mood of the dream, I would say it felt heavy and oppressive – that the air was full of pure darkness. I was in the house I grew up in, and I was being attacked by someone close to me (I’ll leave out names so that no one gets offended). Just in time to prevent my imminent death by knife to the throat, another person very close to me came in the door. My attacker told my rescuer that I had attacked him and was trying to kill him because I was in a drug crazed frenzy and that most likely I was going to kill everyone in the house so that I could steal things to get money for drugs. I tried to protest, to explain that I was the victim. But I was dragged downstairs and locked in the laundry room (which had been turned into an office). The dream ended after a long scene where I pleaded with them to let me go, that I was telling the truth, that I was not, in fact, on drugs and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But no one listened, and I finally picked up a heavy drinking glass and threw it at the window. But the window barely cracked, and the resulting crash woke me up.
I instantly jumped out of bed, grabbed a pen and legal pad, and wrote down the entire dream. I knew I wouldn’t remember it if I didn’t and it seemed like something I needed to remember. I think it may have been my subconscious mind attempting to connect with me and impart some sort of information.
I thought of all sorts of interpretations. The most prominent of those relate to yesterday’s post. I thought perhaps it was my shadow-self trying to communicate with me. Perhaps the “me” in my dream was a manifestation of my shadow-self, and he was trying to tell me, “look, when you are channeling me fully, when you fully embody me, you do things that lead people to accuse you and attack you and distrust you.” Maybe.
Or maybe the dream was just trying to tell me that I have something I’m holding inside me that I need to get out, that I need to be heard and understood.
But the beauty of dreams is that no one really knows why they happen or how they happen. No one knows why sometimes we do and other times we don’t remember our dreams. All I know is that I rarely remember my dreams and they are rarely as vivid as this one was. So what I know for certain is that when I have these vivid dreams that interrupt my sleep, something is going on in my psyche that needs to be addressed.
Sometimes it feels as if my dreams are an overflow valve for my subconscious. When something very deep or distressing is going on in my mind, the buildup of psychic stress expresses itself whether I want it to or not. And often it comes out through my dreams.
I hope to explore this idea during my meditation tonight before bed. I plan on visualizing myself as a being of pure energy and visualizing my connection with the universe, and then, as a change, I will visualize myself opening myself to the universe and letting my energy express itself in whatever way it desires. And then I will see what comes up.
I think of meditation as “wakeful dreaming with an open heart”. And I think that practicing it regularly will have huge results in my spiritual health, the category that I have been paying the least attention to during this wellness quest.
One of the most incredible parts of this opportunity, of my wellness quest, is my freedom to explore who I am. To explore my inner being and to try and improve every part of my health, physical, mental and spiritual.
How do you connect with your inner self? Dreams? Meditation? Prayer? Writing in a Journal?
I’d love to hear comments from you about what you do to take care of that subconscious overflow that happens when you have a lot on your mind.
Hope your day was as great as mine,
Hey, here’s where I’d put PS if this were a letter. Check out the links below. I’m going to be adding links to similar articles on my posts from now on. I may also add pictures or other links. Shameless SEO, of course. But I’m hoping you’ll all enjoy the opportunity to investigate other articles in the same vein as those I post.
- 5 Interesting (Yet True) Facts About Dreams (techeblog.com)
- I had a dream. (christinaparisi.wordpress.com)
- The Wolf’s Whisper and The Butterfly’s Flight (bestisyettocome.wordpress.com)